It is OKAY to ask for help!

Why are we so ashamed to ask for help when we have a loved one suffering from Addiction?

One of the most difficult four-letter words for me to say is "HELP"! Is it because I'm suffering from a little bit of pride? Maybe. Is it because I feel it shows weakness? Maybe. Is it because I don't want anyone else to know our family’s secrets? Maybe. Whatever the reason has been in the past, I've come to realize that not asking for help can keep me stuck in my disfunction. People actually want to help more than we give them credit for, they just don't always know how.

When I was first introduced to the world of addiction, I felt like I was all alone. I had no experience with this disease, and I felt like my life was spiraling out of control. All I knew how to do was yell at my addict, bargain with my addict, manipulate my addict and regretfully shame my addict. To me, these behaviors seemed normal. He was acting like an idiot, and I just knew God put me in his life to tell him that. It took a second trip to inpatient rehab for my husband before I realized I had it ALL wrong. I learned that he was acting like an addict because he was an addict. I was acting like a lunatic because I was too stubborn to find help. This was about to change.

The first time he went away for 6 weeks, I never went for family days. I felt he did this to himself so why would I make the effort to go visit him. The second time he left, it was going to be for months rather than weeks and I felt God tugging at my heart to be more supportive. My husband's counselor told me if I wanted to help him, I needed to come to visitations. I reluctantly went to my first family day and sat through an extremely informative meeting about addiction. Knowledge can be the beginning of the help that we need, and I walked away with a little more understanding of his side of the struggle. The class was followed by an Al-anon meeting for the families and at this point everything changed. For the first time, I didn't feel alone. These people shared stories that had me sitting on the edge of my seat. We all had something in common, we loved an addict.

I began attending meetings on a weekly basis once I got back home and haven't stopped going since. I have started living life again rather than just existing. I have identified with the first step of recovery, and realized I am powerless over addiction and my life has become unmanageable. If I'm having a bad day, I have people I can reach out to. I can ask for help, and not feel like I'm being selfish. If we were meant to do life alone, God wouldn't have put us into communities. For me, that has become my local church, my Al-anon meetings, and my family and friends. It also encompassed telling my story. If I need help, there are others out there that need it as well. 

Today I challenge you to ask for help!  You may be surprised who shows up!