Is it really a disease?

One of the most controversial subjects I have come across through recovery is whether or not addiction is a disease. I know the first time my husband ever tried to tell me that he was suffering from a disease I completely agreed. I told him point-blank he was suffering from the disease called “YOU ARE AN IDIOT”. I even told him since he was my husband, that diagnosis would be free of charge. Better yet, I even have the cure. It’s called “STOP BEING AN IDIOT”. Despite my amazing bedside manner my husband didn’t appreciate my input nor did he make a follow up appointment 😏.

On a more serious note, we often accuse our addicts of being weak. We have the mindset that it’s simply a choice and if they really wanted to stop, they could. I was tied to this belief system as well until I gained some knowledge on the subject of addiction. No, I wasn’t an amazingly devoted wife and ordered books online so I could support him along his journey. I actually ended up in a mandated class on addiction when I visited my husband at his inpatient rehab. As the meeting started I was saying things in my mind, such as blah blah blah, I don’t care, this is a waste of time, and probably a few other negative statements. But all of a sudden the information began to catch my attention. The instructor began drawing diagrams, putting up statistics, and giving an overall synopsis of what was going on in my husbands brain. I walked away saying “WOW! This thing called addiction is REAL”!

If my husband was a diabetic would I shame him? What if he had kidney failure? Would I make him feel guilty for needing dialysis? Of course not! So, why do we find it so easy to pile on shame and guilt to the addicts in our lives? My husband didn’t choose to be an addict. I’ve even heard it compared to an allergy. I may be able to consume alcohol and walk away without a desire to ever drink it again. In contrast, my husband consumes it just one time and can’t walk away from it for 20 years. So in a way, he might be considered to be allergic to alcohol. Because of the stigma that is associated with addiction it prevents so many from getting the help they need. Now please don’t get me wrong, I have never given my husband a free pass. Just like any other disease, there are things the addicted individual can do to make their chances of overcoming much higher. For the addict this can take many forms. The first option for us has been to believe God for a complete deliverance of this stronghold! However, there are other options as well that can be combined with our trust in The Lord:

Inpatient Rehab

Outpatient Rehab

Recovery meetings

Working the 12 steps

Finding a sponsor

Counseling

These are just a few suggestions that are available. Every family dynamic is a little different and we know if we have been in recovery for any amount of time that FORCING sobriety on the addict will never work. I can’t make anyone sober, but as I am gaining more knowledge I can definitely offer some extra grace, compassion, and encouragement as we continue to battle the family disease of addiction.