Don't let Peanut Butter Get You Off Your Program.

I take my recovery very seriously and do my very best to stay within the guidelines and recommendations of my program.  I start almost every day with devotions, journaling, and my gratitude list with the hope that I will stay on course throughout the day.  However, there are those days that no matter what I have read and no matter what I know to be true, I still can get off track.  It is easy to blame this on the addict in my life, because he sure can bait me.  However, my response is always my choice and letting someone else change my character is all on me.  This week I let a jar of peanut butter, and a stubborn husband get the best of me and my new sod paid the price.

For some reason, my husband thought it would be a good idea to give our Golden Doodle (Lakeland) the empty jar of peanut butter whenever he has used the last scoop.  Lakeland loves to stick his face in the jar and lick the sides and roll it all over the kitchen floor.  Due to the fact he doesn’t have thumbs or a voice he never thinks to ask for a wet paper towel to wipe his face when he is done.  Instead, he wipes his face on our furniture and down the wall in the hallway.  The first time this happened I was NOT happy and kindly asked my husband to not do this anymore.  And since husbands listen so well, it wasn’t long before I found another jar of peanut butter on the kitchen floor.  I don’t know if it was the mess that bothered me or the disrespect I felt, but either way I was about to scrap with that man standing in my kitchen.

I thought I was doing a great job sharing my frustration and how his disregard of my request was putting more work on me, but apparently, he was NOT getting it.  I thought maybe a comparison from his world would help.  I brought up how much time he is taking on caring for the new sod in our yard and if he came to me and asked me to please be more careful when I back out of the driveway to make sure I don’t turn around in this new grass how I would immediately comply.  NOPE, his stubbornness was at 100% by now and I knew the best thing was to just head to work.  Unfortunately, he was parked directly behind me, so I had to come back inside and ask him to move his truck.  He came outside, backed his truck down our long driveway and backed into our turnaround to wait for me to back my car out.  As I was backing up, I looked in my rear-view mirror and the first thing I saw was his pretty grass.  I told my self “DON’T DO IT”, but it was too late.  I backed up and purposely ran right over his beloved grass.  I immediately justified my actions by telling myself that my husband is a visual learner, and this was a great teaching moment for him.  Of course, I knew better but as I drove down my driveway, I did have a bit of a smile on my face.  Although I did end up having to make amends latter that day, which reminded me of the 12 steps, which steered me back to my program…..which is how I actually started that day!  Life has a funny way of taking you full circle at times.

Lessons learned:

1.        We all will steer off our program from time to time, and it is okay.

2.        I’m doing the best I can with the situation I am walking through, and it is okay.

3.        Boundaries are necessary, and asking to be respected is okay.

4.        Letting someone have enough influence over you that their behavior changes your character is NOT okay. 

5.        Giving a dog a jar of peanut butter is NOT okay.

6.        Driving through your husband’s new grass is NOT okay.